REVIEW: "Vain" by Fisher Amelie (New Adult/Young Adult, Romance)

VAIN by Fisher Amelie
	Publisher: Fisher Amelie Genre: New Adult, Romance Publication Date: December 23rd 2012 Series: The Seven Deadly, #1 Standalone: Yes
Categories:
Love Abroad, Borrowed Time, Finding Yourself, Heavy Subjects, Kids
Other Books in the Seven Deadly series
#2 #3 #4
Description from Publisher:
If you’re looking for a story about a good, humble girl, who’s been hurt by someone she thought she could trust, only to find out she’s not as vulnerable as she thought she was and discovers an empowering side of herself that falls in love with the guy who helps her find that self, blah, blah, blah...then you’re gonna’ hate my story. Because mine is not the story you read every time you bend back the cover of the latest trend novel. It’s not the “I can do anything, now that I’ve found you/I’m misunderstood but one day you’ll find me irresistible because of it” tale. Why? Because, if I was being honest with you, I’m a complete witch. There’s nothing redeeming about me. I’m a friend using, drug abusing, sex addict from Los Angeles. I’m every girlfriend’s worst nightmare and every boy’s fantasy. I’m Sophie Price...And this is the story about how I went from the world’s most envied girl to the girl no one wanted around and why I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
My Rating:	Heat Rating:
The first part of this was great. Sophie was the ultimate selfish queen bee, using sex to get what she wanted. It was a bit unbelievable that every guy would just drop everything for her, but I could suspend disbelief for that. Then, she landed in Uganda. Within about 24 hours, she was no longer herself. The only hot, young guy at the orphanage hated her, but only for that day. Eventually, he says he never hated her and that her hotness did him in... Things happened rapidly, but that actually made it really hard to truly care for these characters. The bonding was limited to flowery words and bleeding heart monologues about the people of Uganda. The children felt more fleshed out than almost anyone, but they were almost always mentioned as a group. I also have to say it because it really bothered me: VACCINES ARE NOT CURES! They experience measles at the orphanage, but aren't concerned with keeping the kids well-nourished, well-hydrated, and comfortable. They just stress about shooting all the SICK kids up with a vaccine (which is a big no-no! Their immune systems are already taxes enough!). One of the kids is cured about 12 hours after receiving the MMR. That isn't how they work at all. It is also odd that the orphanage wouldn't already have vaccinated all the kids since vaccines are easier to get in Africa than clean drinking water. I digress. The last half of this has some excitement, but is mostly strangely worded dialogue (it doesn't feel natural at all and the word choices off), and unexpected drama. For instance, rather than the "I love you" moment being romantic or sweet, it is dramatic and forced, with Sophie turning cold, angry, and being distraught "He didn't say it!!" There is actually a surprising lack of sex in this, and some odd religious undertones. Dingane/Ian (his name changes halfway through, with a weird explanation) just keeps putting his hands on her neck and slamming his mouth onto hers. It seems the sex doesn't happen until a fade-to-black epilogue after they have gotten married (and neither of these people are virgins). Sophie even freaks out over wearing a bikini, alone, because it "isn't decent" and she shouldn't be showing her stomach. Seriously? How and WHY did she change from someone who wore sexy lingerie to a nun?! I expected a lot more depth about Uganda, Sophie's transition, the orphans, the LRA... and it wasn't there. :(
My Source: I checked this book out from the library. This in no way influenced my review. My opinion is unbiased and 100% my own.

About the Author: Fisher Amelie
Fisher Amelie resides in the South with her kick ace husband slash soul mate. She earned her first 'mama' patch in 2009. She also lives with her Weim, 'Jonah', and her Beta, 'Whale'. All these living creatures keep the belly of her life full, sometimes to the point of gluttony, but she doesn't mind all that much because life isn't worth living if it isn't entertaining, right? Fisher grew up writing. She secretly hid notebooks and notebooks of dribble in a large Tupperware storage container in her closet as a kid. She didn't put two and two together until after college where it suddenly dawned on her, "Hey, I like writing". She's a bit dense. "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are. Put down that Oreo, your butt can't take any more." "You're rude." "Yeah, yeah." Anyway, she likes to write and has finally beaten her self-esteem into submission enough to allow herself to be scrutinized under the 'other readers' microscope. "No! No! Not a cover slip! Last time it gave me a ra...." (mumbling)

REVIEW: "The Retreat" by Jay Crownover (Romantic Suspense)

RETREAT by Jay Crownover
	Publisher: Jay Crownover Genre: Romantic Suspense Publication Date: December 28th 2016 Series: The Getaway, #1 Standalone: Yes
Description from Publisher:
Every once in a while, you need to get away from it all. I was a woman on the edge, shaken and shattered after a breakup that felt like it tore my entire world apart. My best friend, sick of watching me drown in misery and melancholy, harassed me until I agreed to go with her on a week-long wilderness retreat. She promised days spent bonding and getting in touch with our inner bad-asses. It was supposed to be all about the two of us roughing it and making do with the bare minimum. She assured me we were going to be pushed to our limits in ways that were unimaginable. Neither one of us could have ever guessed just how right she was. Nowhere in the glossy brochure did it say anything about the fact I was going to have to battle the insufferable but deliciously rugged and sexy trail guide instead of the elements. The brochure also forgot to mention the part that warned when you left civilization behind, there was no place to pack your inhibitions and fears. I was told that I would be facing a week where the only thing I should expect was the unexpected. However, no one mentioned that I was going to have to fight for my life…and my heart as soon as I ventured into the unknown. I was a pro at hiding from my feelings but when it came time to face a real threat, one that could change everything, I learned I was more of a no surrender, no retreat kind of girl. Retreat is a standalone novel, the first in the Getaway series which centers on the hardheaded and brokenhearted Warner brothers and the women that dare to love them. These boys are very good at putting the wild in wilderness.
My Rating:	Heat Rating:
My Musings:
I was excited to read this, having heard really good things about Jay Crownover (but never having read anything she had done previously). I didn't exactly know what to expect going in. What I discovered fairly quickly was that Crownover has a lot of talent, but I don't think her books are really for me. The suspense was good and the characters seemed fairly deep, but I wasn't a big fan of Cy and Leo's instalust and then instalove. At about 15-20% in, the first naughty scene happens, and it is most definite erotica, with details like "slick" lips, a "velvet rod" and "pearly liquid" being mentioned as Cy jerks off in front of Leo while in the communal shower. Well-written, but just a bit too on the dirty side for me. Also, it seemed out of character for Leo, and even for Cy, and a bit too fast considering they practically just met. Aside from the sex, I didn't get a sense of a lot of connection between Leo and Cy, and I was disappointed at the lack of build-up I had hoped for with the way these two started out at odds with one another. We don't actually get a lot about these characters, despite the amount of introspection and inner monologue throughout, especially from Leo. There were some decent reveals, but they were sort of dumped on the reader unceremoniously. After the biggest suspenseful part, this dragged even though several days (that seemed important) were skipped past. Then, it mostly turned into what felt like a lead-in for the next book. Which was also a bit too blatant - I could see the setup already for the next 3 books' couples. All in all, this was something that was enjoyable enough to read, but was just a miss for me.
My Source: I received a digital ARC from the publisher to voluntarily review. This in no way influenced my review. My opinion is unbiased and my own.

About the Author: Jay Crownover
ay Crownover is the International and multiple New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Marked Men Series, The Saints of Denver Series, and The Point and Breaking Point Series. Her books can be found translated in many different languages all around the world. She is a tattooed, crazy haired Colorado native who lives at the base of the Rockies with her awesome dogs. This is where she can frequently be found enjoying a cold beer and Taco Tuesdays. Jay is a self-declared music snob and outspoken book lover who is always looking for her next adventure, between the pages and on the road.

❤️REVIEW: "Compromising Positions" by Jenna Bayley-Burke (Contemporary Romance)

COMPROMISING POSITIONS by Jenna Bayley-Burke
	Publisher: Entangled Publishing Genre: Contemporary Romance Publication Date: March 24th 2009 Series: Invested in Love, #1 Standalone: Yes
Categories:
Stuck With You, Virgin & Player
Other Books by Jenna Bayley-Burke
More Than Friends #1 My Review My Review
Description from Publisher:
Falling in love is the last thing on his busy agenda but compromising positions can lead just about anywhere. David Strong knows how to do a lot of things run an international fitness company, finesse stock portfolios and stay out of emotional entanglements. That is, until he gets tangled up with Sophie Delfino and her Sensational Sex workout. He s supposed to help her demonstrate Kama Sutra positions for her couples yoga class. The rigorous postures require more than just physical control. And his co-instructor unexpectedly tests his control to the limit. Sophie's been fantasizing about David since her teens, but she never dreamed she d actually be expected to run through her intimate desires with an audience! The class is very professional, tame even or it would be, if she d been in any of the positions before. But she hasn t except in her wildest fantasies about David. Sophie knows she wants David in every way, and she s flexible enough to use whatever she has to get him. David can't afford any unexpected distractions. Besides the sensual positions he has to endure without embarrassing himself in public, there s an embezzler stealing from his company. And then there s Sophie who is well on her way to stealing his well-guarded heart.
My Rating:	Heat Rating:
My Musings:
This was kind of cute and I actually enjoyed it overall. There were a few things I just don't really care for though... For one, I didn't feel much connection to David and Sophie, as much as I liked them. There is also just SO MUCH going on in this. Sophie's parents, David's dad, Daphne's pregnancy, Craig being an ass about Sophie like she is less-than... Sophie's virginity... And there is quite a lot of drama throughout, which bogs this down. I also didn't care for the way that Sophie throws herself at David, over and over again. In ways, I like that she is very take-charge, but then she is incredibly insecure all of a sudden. :/ And he is hardcore NO SEX then starts giving in, but as though he didn't say No... I'm torn about this, as I did enjoy several elements and thought that it had a good mix of sexy moments & cute moments, but this one was mostly a miss for me, despite the fact that I generally like Jenna Bayley-Burke's books.
My Source: I received a digital ARC from the publisher to voluntarily review. This in no way influenced my review. My opinion is unbiased and my 100% own.

About the Author: Jenna Bayley-Burke
By day, Jenna is faster than a speeding toddler, stronger than a stubborn husband, able to leap tall Lego structures in a single bound...but by night, while the family sleeps she writes romance novels where no one ever has to scoop up after the dog, change diapers, clip coupons, drive carpool, do laundry, mop floors, get silly putty out of hair, vacuum, empty the vacuum bag (gross!), exercise, count calories, apply bandaids, clean up puke...wait where was this going? Oh, Jenna writes romance because it is glamorous. Just ask the dog.